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Sunday, August 14, 2016

life is a gift

I miss Justin. He left today for another trip. Only 5-6 days this time.

The house is hot & the baby is fussy. I am feeling just...blah. Also my 4-year-old spent most of the afternoon covering herself and the patio in paint.

I didn't get the house cleaned.
I didn't get my workout done.
I didn't spend a lot of quality time with the girls.
The kids may have had cereal for dinner.

But I have a new day waiting for me tomorrow, a chance to try again, and for that I am so, so thankful. Three beautiful reasons to wake up each morning and three things to keep me going while my husband is away. I'm not going to knock it out of the park every single day, but I can be excited on the days when I do. And I can try again tomorrow.

This life is such a gift.

Monday, August 8, 2016

be patient with me, I'm still learning...

Military life...it is always throwing me curve balls! As soon as I think I am settled into a comfort zone, something changes and I'm thrown for a loop!

Right now, I am having trouble adjusting to Justin being home, which sounds bad to say. Let me explain...

When Justin is gone, I get into my routine and groove because I have to in order to survive it all. I plan out my days the way that I think best for myself and the kids. We stay busy with friends and outings. We focus in on our home schooling and field trips. I am completely in control and in charge of everything here. I have gotten pretty good at just picking up and carrying on when he leaves, because I have had a lot of practice.

But lately for whatever reason I have been having trouble adjusting to my husband coming home. I used to hear wives talk about this and would think "Well that's crazy, that will never be me." And here I am. I think it's partially because I've gotten so good at being on my own that now being a part of a couple again can be somewhat of a tricky thing. Suddenly I have to give up some of the control and hand it back to whom it rightfully belongs: my partner. I have to plan more around his needs and his schedule, and that just can get a little tedious and complicated if I'm being honest...because his schedule is never the same two days in a row.

Don't get me wrong-- I love when my husband is home. I really do, no matter how difficult it may be for me. Just having his presence here is so comforting to me.

And Justin & I are both feeling pretty burnt out. We are coming up on our third deployment in four years which means there have been back to back to back 6 month sections of training followed by 6 month deployments. In short, he's been gone a lot. His schedule has been hectic and busy and insane, and the kids and I have been left here to deal with it. It has been a lot and we all are just ready for a break and some stability I think.

Hopefully coming soon, at least for a while...until that next curve ball arrives!