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Monday, February 16, 2015

jipped, cheated, and mad?

I hope all of you had an awesome Valentine's Day! It was sunny & warm here in southern California, so we spent the day at the beach!

Now that we have less than two weeks until our big move {which thankfully is only temporary}, I have been feeling the stress! Oh my gosh! There is so much to do!

Also something I've been feeling: really, really angry that things didn't work out how I wanted them to. We were supposed to have time together, as a family. We were supposed to go on a road trip to see new places. We were supposed to go on dates and take our time saying all the things we wanted to say.

But instead we're moving. I have put on a brave face about it, but yesterday I had a melt down. I wanted to throw a tantrum, punch a hole in the wall, anything really... but instead I sat in bed for a while and cried. I feel really disappointed. And annoyed. And tired. And just jipped. Cheated. Mad.

I know that there is a purpose here somewhere, but I'm not seeing it. Sometimes-- usually-- in the midst of a struggle or hard time, you can't see the reason for the struggle. You just have to get through it. Once you're on the other side, the lesson usually becomes clear. It may take a few days, it may take several years-- but you'll know.

I keep telling myself that, anyways. I have to believe that the things that happen have purpose, or else what's the point?

And so here we are! Packing, planning, selling, cleaning. I'm teetering between wishing this time away and struggling to hold onto it. I want the move to be DONE, but I do not want my husband to leave.

Such is life! I'm really trying  hard to enjoy each and every day-- it takes a lot of prayer and effort on my part!!

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