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Thursday, August 7, 2014

perfectly imperfect ME

i have been thinking so much about my self confidence issues. for my entire life, i have felt that i lacked something. that i don't have anything to offer. i'm not fun and bubbly. i'm not funny or outgoing. i'm not independent and free thinking. i'm not friendly or exciting. i have always put the magnifying glass over my negative qualities. i'm selfish and often lazy/unmotivated. i'm shy and reserved. i'm very introspective and can get lost for hours inside my own head. i prefer to be at home. i have a bad temper and have very high expectations of people close to me (sorry, husband. and kids). i like to plan ahead, so when last minute things pop up i don't like it. i also don't particularly like parties or large gatherings of people...it makes me tired to meet new people. i prefer deep conversations over small talk, which often makes people uncomfortable. i am so much better at typing out my feelings than saying them out loud. when i talk too much or show too much emotion, i feel foolish and embarrassed.

and that's me. in a nutshell.

but god has been gently teaching me and showing me the beauty within that. he has been moving the magnifying glass over to the parts of me that are good. i'm very loyal. i think before i speak. i'm kind and sensitive. i love to serve others.

see, i don't believe that god created us to be perfect. he created us with flaws. the selfishness and laziness in me, that's there for a purpose. if i had it all figured out, what would i need Him for?

so maybe we should start to view ourselves as perfectly imperfect. that has a nice ring to it, don't you think?