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Thursday, July 31, 2014

mama meltdown

a few nights ago i had a melt down. i cried. and i pouted. and i felt sorry for myself.

my two-year-old brooklynn has decided to wake up at night 3-5 times for the last few weeks. our traveling really did her in this time. i felt so tired. irritated. frustrated.

also, i'm trying to homeschool a first-grader...
and LEAD a MOPs group...
and BUILD a business...
and be a wife...
and a happy mother...
and take care of MYSELF...

so, how does one woman do it all?!

she doesn't. and that's ok. because she has a God who will fill in the gaps and the empty spaces where i fail.

i admit it, housework is low on my priority list at this point. i have a running to-do list that keeps growing larger rather than smaller. that's my life now. sleep-deprived and busy. but so, so happy.

because when you're living out God's purposes for your life, there's not much that can bring you down.


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Navy Wife Life: home again, home again...

Navy Wife Life: home again, home again...: we just got back from an awesome visit with our family!! mother-in-law was here in california with us for about 8 days. then we flew to te...

home again, home again...

we just got back from an awesome visit with our family!!

mother-in-law was here in california with us for about 8 days. then we flew to tennessee with her to visit with our family! we had a great time. we always do.

and now here we are, back in our little apartment in sunny california. last night when our plane landed i breathed a sigh of relief-- that the long day of travel was over, that i could see ocean & palm trees, that we were home.

it didn't really hit me until this morning, as i was doing boring things... unpacking, making a grocery list, planning out the coming week. that sad, lonely feeling washed over me and made my eyes sting with tears.

it's times like that when i wonder if everyone feels things so deeply and change so sensitively, or if it's just people like me...

i just start to think about all of the fun things we did with the people we love; i start to miss being surrounded with people who know me. change is hard for me. any change, big or small.

it's also times like that when i am so thankful for my faith and how far i have come. i do feel sad, but not helpless. i know how to keep myself from sinking into that familiar depressed feeling. i turned on some good music, played with my girls, and separated my emotions from what i know to be true.

you see, God made us to be emotional beings. he likes that about us. but we are not to be driven, consumed, ruled by our emotions. that is what i've struggled with so much. so instead of sinking lower and feeling worse, i reminded myself of these truths:

we did have an incredible time with our family
they all love us so much
i love our home here in california, and have many friends to catch up with
there are lots of fun things to fill our days with next week
i have a savior who loves me
right now, in this moment, i am not alone. no matter how lonely my emotions make me feel, i know better. i am never alone