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Saturday, May 24, 2014

memorial day

today has been...weird. i feel like i could cry. i just keep thinking about all of these families who are missing someone. all of the kitchen tables with an empty chair. all of the children missing their fathers or mothers. all of the husbands and wives who know their spouse is never coming home. it breaks my heart.

and it especially hits home because someone i know very recently lost her husband. devastating.

i have been praying for these families off and on all day today. i can't really imagine a loss like that. i pray i never have to.

memorial day is about remembering. remembering those who have died for us. for me, it's personal. for me, it's about remembering all of the sacrifices MY family has made. Justin has missed SO MUCH. even as i type this, he's not here...gone on another training trip. emotionally and mentally, i have sacrificed so much. i think about the very beginning--boot camp--and how uncertain and depressed i was. i think about work ups and deployment. all of it was so hard. my husband has missed birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. he missed my first marathon and avery's first dance recital. and that is not going to end for us any time soon.

i wish i could say that i'm glad to do it. that the sacrifice is worth it. but sometimes i'm just not sure. when people thank me, i never know what to say. "you're welcome" doesn't feel right. "no problem" is just a lie. and "my pleasure" well, that's a lie, too. the truth is, i do this because i have to. it's what God has for us right now and who am i to fight that? but i'd be lying if i said there's not a part of me that wishes for something different. something easier.

i beg each of you to think about all of our military families. think about the heroes who gave all while fighting for our freedoms. pray for the families that they left behind.

John 15:13 -

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.


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