Sunday, August 4, 2013

waking up in california...

as many of you know, the girls and i spent about 5 1/2 weeks in tennessee/virginia with our family. it was an amazing time, everyone got to spend time with the girls & i got to have a break.

yesterday we flew home to california *insert tears*

i started crying a few days before we left. usually after visits i'm almost ready to come home, because justin is with me or i know i'll be seeing him soon. this time was different. i didn't want to leave at all. i knew i'd be coming home to an empty apartment. coming back here, i felt alone; sad; abandoned. all the ones who really love me are just so far away.

i know that i am never really alone. god is always here with me, and i always have my sweet little girls. and he has been so faithful to give me amazing friends who have almost become family to me. but still...i can't help but feel alone over here. i went to bed & woke up with a sad, sinking feeling. i keep thinking about what we'd be doing if we were at my mom's. i miss them all so much already, and i hate this distance between us.

i know once we get settled back into our routine i'll be alright; but for now, i'm struggling. this life is just. so. hard.

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