Wednesday, August 14, 2013

deployment; 11 weeks down

so...i haven't seen my husband in almost three months.
it feels like way longer.
it feels like he'll never be home.
sometimes i wonder if he'll be the same when he comes back.
if i'll be the same.

i miss him so much.

sometimes it just hits me hard. certain things make me think of him and BOOM...a wave of longing washes over every pore of my body. every time i hear a motorcycle for a split second i think it's him coming home to us. what a cruel joke.

i'm at war within myself. i find myself wishing the time away and then fighting to grab it back. i realize that this time with my daughters is precious. it is fleeting and before i know it they'll be grown. i want to enjoy every second of it, to soak it in. but how can i? how? when half of me is not even here, but across the globe with my husband? and then i think about all that he is missing. all that he is sacrificing, all of the moments that we will never get back...lost forever.

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