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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

deployment: 9 weeks down

nine weeks. it has been nine weeks since i last saw the love of my life. nine weeks since i drove away from him in that parking lot on base. nine weeks. 

it's gone quickly so far i think. we have stayed very busy. the girls help with that ;)

the thing is...sometimes i just need to cry. not every day anymore, just sometimes. usually i wait until i'm in the shower or alone at night; but not always.

some of the best advice i ever received from a friend and fellow military wife was this: allow yourself to feel. i love that. it's like up until that point i had been waiting for permission from someone--anyone--to feel however i needed to feel. permission to feel sad if i wanted to. i needed someone to tell me that to cry and to be sad is normal; understandable; it doesn't make me weak. i also wanted someone to tell me that it's ok to feel happy, too, in spite of my husband's absence...that it doesn't make me a bad wife.

and so now i cry when i need to cry. but i also laugh when i need to laugh, and i don't feel guilty about that. i miss justin every moment of every day, that is no exaggeration.

my point is: please allow yourself to feel. whatever your situation, no matter your lot in life. don't put up a front. don't act strong if you're not feeling strong. don't feel guilty for the way that you are feeling inside.

the thing is, yes, sometimes i feel sad. but i never, never, feel hopeless. if you are truly a christian then i believe you can never feel hopeless. if you know his promises and his love for you, you are never without hope. that is what i've come to realize.

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