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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

deployment: one week down

today is the first day since justin left that i have felt really sad all day... :( i think it's because 1) we were home all day; 2) my sister left yesterday; 3) i read his notes he left the girls before he departed...mistake. they were so sweet it made me cry; 4) he has been gone a week today. only a week. it feels like it should be way longer...

i have felt really great over all... staying busy, these girls help with that; their constant companionship is such a blessing during these times. we have lots of friends here, so i've got something fun planned for almost every day. we have gotten to skype justin a lot more than i thought! that helps the girls a ton. it helps me too...but i have cried almost every time we've said goodbye. i hate it. so much.

today has just been one of those days. i am dying for my husband to walk through the door and give me a hug. i walk into our room and sadness hits me with such a force that i can feel it in my bones. there is a pile of his clothes sitting in our bedroom floor that i can't bring myself to put away...i just don't want to look at his stuff any more than i have to. when you love someone so much, you'll do anything that you have to for them. if it means waiting 6-9 months to hold my husband again then i'll do it. because i have to. because i choose to. because i love him.

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