Monday, April 1, 2013

operation preparedness

i cannot wrap my head around the fact that it is april already. how did that happen?!? i feel like we were just celebrating christmas, and now it's april? sheesh...

i have been feeling really down and frustrated the last few days. i suppose it's because i just feel like our time together as a family is just running out all too quickly. before i turn around justin will be leaving and our family will be catapulted into our first deployment. i feel like life is on fast forward right now and no matter how hard i press pause, nothing is just keeps going faster.

we still haven't told avery about deployment. i've been praying and waiting, hoping i'll just know when the time is right. i think we are going to tell her soon, i'm getting tired of hiding it from her. i mentioned to justin that i will probably cry when we tell her about it, so he suggested maybe he take ave on a date and talk to her. that way things will be calm. i know he will do great. he's so much less of an emotional wreck than me! thank goodness! we got the girls some daddy dolls (, which we haven't given them yet. i also have journals that i keep for the girls, and i've asked justin to be thinking about what he wants to write in them before he leaves. i'd like him to leave a letter for each girl.

eww. all of this feels so heavy and hard to think about.. but this is my life.

we got ave a locket with a picture of her and daddy inside. that way she will always have daddy close to her heart. hopefully it will be a reminder of how much he loves her.

as for me, i've been planning for my sisters to visit sporadically. and i think the girls and i are going to spend a lot of time back east this summer. i just know i'll need a break from being a single parent, a break from being on my own, a break from life. a fun summer visit with our family should do the trick. i'm also trying to take my training seriously and plan races throughout the year to give me goals and distractions.

just as justin is preparing for this deployment, so am i. he is gathering gear and packing; i'm mentally and emotionally trying to get where i need to be. it's always important to remember, the whole family serves.

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