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Monday, January 28, 2013

tired heart

we all know that stress shows itself in our bodies. for me, i know i'm really anxious or stressed out about something when i break out in hives. 

and here i sit, with my body covered in them.

these itchy red splotches on my body are more than just annoying. they are a reminder that i'm holding onto something. i'm stressing out about a situation that is probably out of my control. i'm not handing everything over to my God. and it's only hurting me. or, in this case, itching.

so why then? why do i continue to try and muddle through on my own? why do i stay stressed out about things that are just out of my control? i so want to be able to get control of my emotions; to put all of my trust in my Father. 

i just have been having such a hard time, since october. that's when justin started leaving me for work ups. justin is finally home and as soon as i turn around he is leaving again. all of it leaves me with my head spinning and a heart that is full of sorrow. a heart that is tired, and sad, and beaten down by this life. a heart that just misses its other half.

 a heart that doesn't know how much more it can take...

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