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Monday, October 8, 2012

lonely day

I keep waiting on all of this to get easier... Three weeks later and I'm still waiting. Justin is just gone so much, home just long enough to tease me and then he's off again. Often he's not home when he says he should be, which is just heartbreaking on my end. I know that our time together is precious and fleeting. It's so easy for the disappointments and heartbreak to turn into resentment; towards Justin, towards his job. I know that's not fair. I know that Justin wishes he were home with us just as much as I do...but still sometimes resentment is what I feel.

I know that all of the training is important; I know that at the end of the day everyone's goal is to get our men home safely from deployments. The only way to do that is to ensure that they are trained as well as  they can be. Unfortunately for me, this means they must be gone a lot...traveling to new places to train in new areas. My head is so thankful for the training; my heart abhors it.

I'm so thankful for my little girls. I don't know what I would do without them; I love to have my house full of family. But right now the days are just long and lonely, hanging endlessly over my head. I feel like I always have a cloud over my head; I feel like Eeyore out of the Hundred Acre Wood. For now I look forward to the end of another day, so that I can just be alone with my thoughts...

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