Header/Navigation Bar

Friday, July 13, 2012

slow down, mom!

there is just something about babies. everyone loves them. even little kids love them. (i know this because Ave ADORES her little sister. and, when i was little my siblings and i used to fight over who got to hold the new baby). the roughest, toughest men turn to mush when they see a sweet little baby (maybe not on the outside, but on the inside they're melting). maybe it's the chubby belly, dimply legs and knuckles, or double chins. maybe it is the sweet little toothless grin. maybe it's the little coo's and gurgles. maybe it's the bald little head, the teeny fingers and toes. babies are just adorable and precious, we all know that. maybe it is their sweet innocence and purity that turns us to mush. maybe it's the fact that they are completely vulnerable and at our mercy. we feel that we must protect them and shelter them, and lavish them with love.

i don't know about you, but babies make me cry. i know this probably sounds weird, but bear with me... when i see a baby, tears usually come into my eyes and i don't know why. but i think it's because they are just so precious and perfect, and untainted...and i know it won't last forever. i know that baby will grow up so quickly and will become corrupted by our perverted world; after all, as humans, we do have a sinful nature. 

my Brooklynn is changing every day. she has grown so much! i am trying to take time during the day to stop cleaning or watching tv or checking my phone so that i can just sit and hold her and look into her sweet little eyes. there is nothing more precious. that is what life is all about. i am trying to take it all in!

i love my girls, so much. it is all-consuming and almost suffocating. they are my reasons to live. they are mine. and i know that they will only be mine for a short time, a very short time. a friend recently pointed out to me that for the majority of our children's lives, they are adults doing their own thing, making their own way. my girls will only live under my roof for a short time. Avery will not always let me read stories to her, she won't always enjoy spending time with me, i won't always be her best friend (*tear* this thought makes me SO sad). i won't always get to spend every day with my girls, i am slowly losing control over their tiny lives with every day that passes. and so i need to slow down and enjoy. i need to prioritize my days. it's ok if it takes me 3 days to watch a 40-minute tv show (which has happened before) or if i don't get in my daily workout (chasing Avery around is a more memorable workout anyway) or if i don't get to finish reading a book until my kids are all out of the house. i need to make time to play with my precious kids, to learn with them and invest in their little lives. with the busy pace of our society, it can be difficult to be in the moment. too often i go to bed at night dissatisfied with the course of our day; i spent too much time doing my own thing while Ave did her own thing :/ i don't like that. i want to make sure every single day is filled with memory-making. it takes such an effort! i'm trying to be better! because i want my kids to feel loved and happy and fulfilled; it's up to me to make them feel that way :)

No comments:

Post a Comment