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Thursday, September 1, 2011

military marriage

I've been thinking about the differences between military marriages and civilian ones, and there are many. One is no better than the other--they're just so different! In most civilian marriages the husband works five days a week from 9-5, and is home every single weekend and holiday. You're blessed enough to see your spouse every single day. You have help with the kids, you have time with your husband. He never has to miss an anniversary or birthday.

In a military marriage, or at least in the profession we are entering into, none of this is true. The husband is gone for weeks or months at a time training--always training. Then, when he is ready, he gets deployed for months and months at a time. Military husbands miss out on so many of life's precious moments: birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, sometimes even the birth of his child. His job comes first, always. And that's ok, that's something we wives must just accept. The wife is left to be a single parent while her husband is away. We get no breaks until our husband comes home. Our patience and energy are depleted. Kids miss their fathers and ask for them, sometimes in tears.

Because of these vastly different marriage types, military wives have issues that civilians can never understand. Due to the nature of our husband's career choice, most of them are gone often. This leaves us military wives feeling crazy possessive of our husbands and super protective of the time we get with them. When my husband is home, I find myself dropping everything to be with him. Just to be near him makes me so happy! It's not uncommon at all for a military wife to disappear when her husband is home. Many civilian friends would think it silly to forget friends and commitments for a man, some will even get offended. But I know that my military sisters all understand how I feel. It's just assumed that when a friend's husband is home, weekends and evenings are usually reserved for family time. Because for us family time is a luxury.

Now, being so possessive of my husband is something I cannot help, although I have gotten better about it over the last year. He is just gone so much, when he's home I want his undivided attention--no phone calls, no visitors, no distractions. I want him all to myself. Sometimes when his phone rings I cringe inside. I want to shut the whole world out and just sit with my husband, while I have the chance to.

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