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Friday, April 1, 2011

frienemy?

In my experience so far, there are two groups of Navy wife friends: those who lift you up and those who drag you down. The first type are the ones I prefer to be around, for obvious reasons. They are strong, self-assured women who are supportive and loyal friends. They are the ones who offer to babysit for you so you and your spouse can finally go on a date; they're the ones who keep you company while your husband is away; they're the ones who feel your pain and share in your joy. This last point is the one that greatly sets them apart from the other group; they share your joy. When your husband comes home from a month or two or three of training, they are nearly as excited as you are! Because they know the joy and excitement that you are feeling, and they don't begrudge you for it.

The other, less enjoyable group tend to hold grudges; they also are more jealous. These women always have this thought in the back of their minds: "Well, my life is harder than yours." "So what your husband will be gone for 5 months, I've had to be apart from mine much longer than that! Try a year!" It feels as though they are constantly competing with you for who has it hardest. They often play the pity card. They live out the statement "misery loves company." They can make you feel discouraged and much worse about a situation than the previous group of friends, who offer words of encouragement and prayers.

So far in my walk as a Navy wife, I have encountered both types of women. It is easy to be both types of women. I make a conscious decision every day to be a good friend, to be happy for my fellow wives when they are with their husbands...even if I am not with mine. I have had to weed out the nay-sayers and choose carefully who I spend my time with. Because let's face it, this life is hard enough. I don't need people whispering words of discouragement into my ear; I do that enough to myself. I need a group of strong, Godly, encouraging friends; and I think that's what I've found :)

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