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Saturday, February 26, 2011

sadness

Every time that my husband leaves me, whether for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, I go through some kind of mourning. Usually this phase lasts anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. During this time I experience a deep depression, almost as if he had died. I have a great sense of loss and loneliness. Being around his things is very difficult and I can barely walk into our bedroom. During this time, I have a knot in my stomach and am always at the brink of tears. A few nights were even spent on the couch covered in itchy red hives just from the stress of it all.

After the mourning is over, I start to feel a bit better. Instead of being sad and depressed for days and days, it comes to me more in waves. Like when I have been gone all day then walk into the empty, dark apartment at night and sit in silence. Or on the weekends when I just don't have anything to do. While he is away, I am always missing him. I am always sad, there are just different levels of sadness that I experience.

The main thing that helps me while my husband away is just staying in the Word. Reading encouraging Bible verses or listening to uplifting music. Exercising helps me a lot too, it makes my mind clear and gets those endorphins going to boost my mood. Friends also help, soo much! I am very thankful to have a great group of friends. It helps to fill the evenings with activities so that I am not just sitting here alone after my daughter goes to bed. Because that gets really lonely..

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