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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth

-gossip makes its way around the world before the truth has time to pull its pants up-

Now isn't that the sad truth? Living in a small town, I have heard plenty of gossip & seen the damage that it can cause to individuals & their families. I used to be a part of the problem, waltzing around with my shallow "friends" talking about others & who has done what. I admit it. I am now working to become part of the solution. I am wondering, as you consider what is coming out of your mouth, if you would want people saying the same things of you and your family that you say about them? As you slander, gossip, and spread lies, do you think you are making God or anyone else proud of you? Do you think you are making yourself seem like a good, virtuous person full of integrity & love? Do you think that people enjoy hanging around people who talk about others all the time? Because let me be the one to tell you, if someone talks about others to you then she will surely talk about you to others. That's just the way this nasty game works.

Proverbs 20:19 - A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

I serve a God who hates gossip. He abhors it, despises it, loathes it. As a matter of fact, there is proof of this in the Bible:

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things which the LORD hates, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that run rapidly to evil, A false witness who utters lies, And one who spreads strife among brothers.

See that? God hates a false witness. He hates a lying tongue. When you do something that God hates, woah! You better watch out!!

Proverbs 13:3
The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

I used to get mad when people talked about me and my family, maybe I still do somewhat. But for the most part I just feel pity for the fools flapping their jaws. They're the ones making themselves look like idiots, they're the ones in disobedience to God, they're the ones who can't be trusted. It's not up to me to get revenge, or to judge them. That part is up to God and He will do a far better job of it than I ever could!

Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.
This small town is full of corruption & gossipers. I have always known that. I have been a victim of it, my entire family still is. I am happy to see my family getting out of here & I am overjoyed to be getting out myself. I will never be living here again, I know that. My daughter will not be brought up in a place such as this. All I can say is I have an awesome, mighty God on my side! The giver and taker of life, the truth-bearer! Who do you have? Because I'm God's daughter and He faithfully takes care of His children. For you gossipers, take heed! This is your warning, God is not happy with you!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

just a moment in time .. .

I think tonight I shall go back to May and relive that wonderful day when I got to watch my husband graduate from boot camp. The ceremony itself was glorious, the military is like its own private, respected, disciplined world. The music & the colorful flags were my daughter's favorite part. Then there was the moment when my husband & his class finally marched into the auditorium & took their places. The anxiety & excitement beforehand led to me getting hives haha, I just could not wait to see my precious husband after two months of little communication!!

When I spotted him and our eyes met, words cannot describe that moment. I've heard in romance novels before that you lock eyes with your lover and the whole world disappears, no one else exists, time stands still. That's how it was at that moment. My husband was all I could see, nothing else mattered. And those few seconds felt like hours. With our eyes, we shared with one another all the pain the previous months had held and all the joy that day possessed. With our eyes in that special moment, we gave each other strength & love!
I carry that moment with me in my heart & I know that I will forever. I know that in times of sadness and loneliness, longing for my husband during long separations due to deployment...I will reach into the recesses of my heart and pull out that special moment. I will relive it, drawing comfort & love from the memory.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

happy birthday?

I have been a walking ball of emotion the last few weeks as I have planned my daughter's second birthday party. I didn't want to have a party at all because I knew my husband wouldn't be here to enjoy it with us. Last night I had somewhat of a melt down as I thought more and more about the special moments that the Navy has stolen away from us. I woke up this morning with swollen eyes, a heavy heart, but a steel resolve to give my daughter a happy birthday. I have been walking through a fog all day, feeling sad and disappointed..

During my daughter's party I was sitting alone and my husband texted asking about the party and wishing he could be there. I fought to maintain my composure but I admit there were a few tears. I am of course thankful for my daughter, I would be lost without her! I thank God for giving her to me two years ago today. I just wish her daddy had been here to celebrate with us. It just hurts my heart because I know he hates missing out on these precious moments. As much as the Navy has given to us, it has also taken a lot.

I try to focus on the positive, but sometimes I fail. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. It is a daily struggle to hand everything over to God, make myself stop stressing and wishing the days away. It is a constant battle to live in the moment and enjoy each day to its fullest. But I try. My God, how I try...