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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

waiting, waiting...

I have been having a hard time the last couple of weeks. Seems like I am developing some sort of a pattern here... The first month I am separated from my precious husband, I feel really good for the most part! I feel encouraged & refreshed, I guess because I have just been able to spend some time with him. I am positive and looking forward to the future, excited even. Then the second month rolls around and I get frustrated, moody, impatient, just sick to death of waiting around. It's the waiting that kills me. I am in this phase at the moment. I'm ready to see my husband and I'm ready to see him now.

The whole thing about training to become a SEAL are the unknowns. Each day is a huge question mark, you just never know what can happen to push the training back: injury, sickness, getting dropped from the program for one reason or another. And if the training gets pushed back then my move gets pushed back, which means I have to wait longer to see my husband :( Sometimes I feel like shouting "It's not fair!" to anyone who will listen. Sometimes I feel like punching the daylights out of someone. It is just HARD to never know what will happen to you and your family, it's hard to not have a secure, safe future. It takes a toll on you, all the waiting. All this is for us right now is a big waiting game. Always waiting for something. It almost makes you feel like you're wishing your life away..

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