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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

so frustrating...

Well, didn't get to see the hubby today. I had it all planned, trip to the grocery to get dinner things then head over to the base to pick him up. When am I ever going to learn to quit making plans... As Ave and I were leaving the store, hubby calls and says they have a meeting, to wait about an hour then come get him. So we disappointedly came back to our hotel room. 3 hours later he texts and says the meeting is over. By now Ave is bathed and in bed, and I'm headed that way soon myself. I am so frustrated! I feel like I have a love/hate with the Navy. They've enhanced our lives in many ways but they don't think at all about the ones sitting at home in situations like this. The ones who have dinner planned. The ones who have to end up eating that dinner alone, while choking down tears. I'd like to cuss them all out really good once or twice. I think that would make me feel a little better.

On another note, I feel so tense. How can a person want the days to zoom past and slow way down at the same time? Excitedly mark days off the calendar yet get sad at how few are left? And yet, that's the frame of mind I am in right now. I'm so anxious to be with family and friends at last, save up some money, be in familiar surroundings where Ave and I can spread out again. But I dread leaving this place at the same time. I know I will miss hubby so much. I almost feel guilty leaving here before he does. While I'm gone, who will cook him meals? Make sure he takes his vitamins? Buy foods that he likes? Give him foot massages and back rubs? Hug him and tell him he's doing a great job, he will make it for sure? Am I selfish for leaving?

Oh the emotional roller coaster that comes with being a Navy wife..

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